How to Control Yourself
The problem of teenager’s behavior is a topic of discussion among many psychologists, pedagogues, and ordinary parents. Scientists do many researches in this sphere and try to answer the question of how teenagers understand and control their emotions. Moreover, they also pay attention to the delinquent teenagers’ behavior and their attitude towards emotions management. Thus, it is important to understand how teenagers see and control their emotions and why some of them appear to be delinquent.
According to the Cambridge dictionary, the word delinquent frequently means a young person who behaves in an illegal or not acceptable for most people way. Very often parents admit that a teenage period is rather difficult and consider their children to be delinquent. In their turn, psychologists try to help adults in raising their children. Thus, they observe the behavior of teenagers, organize meetings at schools and colleges to understand the problems young people face. Moreover, they cooperate with teachers at school and ask parents for some help. Therefore, the study of anger management appeared as a result of psychologists’ hard work. This subject helps teenagers, as well as adults, to understand their feelings and emotions and manage to control them properly.
The ability to manage one’s behavior helps people in many life situations, for instance when emotions go out of control and one can say many things that will offend somebody. Moreover, in the period of adolescence, behavior appears under pressure of emotions. According to Ritter, this happens because a teenage period of life is characterized by hormone splash. It greatly influences one’s consciousness, making it hard for a person to behave adequately. In fact, emotions are under control of hormones (Brookshire). Hence, without the ability to regulate the emotions properly, it is hard to behave well.
To find how delinquent teenagers understand and control their emotions, I analyzed the behavior of two teenagers I know for a long period. Both of them are boys of 16 years old who live in the neighborhood. The family of the first boy consists of four people: two parents and two children, a boy and a girl. The family owns a nice modern house and a car. Parents are always friendly and spend much time with their kids. Moreover, they always ask their children to help them in the garden or about the house. When their son was younger, they took him to different clubs. He attended chess club, music club and played rugby. I wondered what the reason for this was. Once, he told me that his parents thought that the more clubs the teenager was engaged in, the less time for bad things to think about he had. I always liked to visit this family and play with children as parents never forgot to talk with us about life at school and other important for us things. In fact, the boy from this family was never considered to be delinquent. He never showed aggressive emotions and he always tries to think about his actions. To my mind, the main reason behind his proper behavior is the emotional atmosphere at home that is healthy and positive. Parents do their best to raise their children well. They explain their kids many things and always try to understand the thoughts of their son and daughter. Parents teach their kids how to control the emotions and feelings and behave well. Probably, such parents’ attitude towards children and their adolescence helps to avoid all the problems with bad behavior and poor emotions control.
The other family I analyzed also lives not far from me. They own a house that is not very modern and new but always clean. There are three children and two parents in the family. Adults always work hard to provide their kids with everything they need. Therefore, they do not have much free time and very often they do not spend even evenings together with kids. Their elder son is a boy of 16 years old whom teachers at school consider to be a delinquent teenager. He really studies and behaves not very well. Answering the question about the reason why he is so nervous and aggressive, he said he never thought about this. When we started to talk about his behavior, we came to a conclusion that nobody told and explained him how to manage the emotions and behave properly. It seems that children from this family were provided with all necessary material things, but all of them lacked psychological support. The elder boy admitted he was rarely asked about school life, and thus was rarely supported by parents. He considered his parents to be not his friends but just adult people who provide him with food, clothes, etc. In fact, he did not understand his behavior and was not aware of how to control the emotions.
Very often, delinquent teenagers are emotionally weak and need to be supported by adults. A young person may be unaware of hormone splash and its influence on the mood and behavior. Thus, adults should explain them everything and try to understand the reasons of teen’s actions. As for the teenagers’ understanding of emotions control, I think it depends on the way he/she was raised. Family traditions and parents’ attitudes play a great role in this aspect. In fact, teens from the family where adults pay much attention to the problems of the children and everyday life are usually not considered to be delinquent. They know how to behave properly and can manage their emotions even in the period of hormone splash. If a teenager has problems with behavior, usually he/she does not know how to control the emotions. A person thinks he/she behaves in a proper manner, but when an adult discusses this question with him/her, it appears the teenager does not know much about physiology and psychology of his/her age.
To conclude, behavior of a teenager depends greatly on the environment in which he/she is raised. Thus, children from unhappy families are likely to be delinquent. Very often these teens do not think about their behavior and controlling their emotions. Therefore, parents, teachers and psychologists should pay attention to behavior of the teenagers and explain them how to understand their feelings and manage the emotions.
Brookshire, Bethany. “Hormone Affects How Teens’ Brains Control Emotions.” Science News for Students, 15 July 2016, www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/hormone-affects-how-teens-brains-control-emotions. Accessed 1 June 207.
“Delinquent.” Cambridge Dictionary. 2017, dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/delinquent. Accessed 1 June 207.
Ritter, Malcolm. “Experts Link Teen Brains’ Immaturity, Juvenile Crime.” ABC News, abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=3943187&page=1. Accessed 1 June 207.